


A Matter Of Time

by zzoaozz



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-24
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-12-09 10:18:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/773071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzoaozz/pseuds/zzoaozz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The line between friendship and love is easily crossed, but sometimes it takes a little push to get started.   Just a light romance, nothing more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Matter Of Time

Squall rested his forehead against the cool metal wall of his own apartment as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. Quistes was hurt, Zell was angry, and even Selfie was not speaking to him. He had acted like an idiot. He frowned. It should not bother him; he did not need anyone. 

Rinoa had all but declared her love for him in front of everyone. He had been embarrassed and irritated more than anything else. He had muttered "Whatever" and then ignored her to return to his card game. Zell had scooped his hand up and shot him a furious look before stalking out of the cafeteria. Quistes had turned and ran out with tears in her eyes. Even Selfie had given him the cold shoulder.

He thumped down onto his bed and tossed his cards down carelessly. His Zell card was on top. Idly, he picked it up and looked at the picture. Mrs. Dincht, Zell's adoptive mom, adored her wild, reckless boy. She had taken his picture and transformed it into a card. Squall had won this copy from her. 

It was a good picture. She had caught his ebullience, his boundless energy. His eyes, an impossible blue like something from a child's set of paints, seemed to glow with some secret. His rakish grin lit up his face. Squall found himself completely engrossed in the intricate tattoo that decorated his cheek. He stared at it for some time before tossing the cards angrily into his dresser. 

"What the Hell do they want from me? I don't love her and don't want to go out with her. No amount of meddling will change that. They don't have the right to tell me what to do. I did just fine on my own before them."

He stretched out full length on his bed and closed his eyes. Drawing on his meditation skills, he forced his body to relax and then allowed his mind to follow into a shallow sleep haunted by dreams of rain and the sea.

Zell pounded the punching bag furiously until he noticed the leather seams threatening to give with each impact. He forced himself to step back and shadowbox instead. He was wet with sweat, but his breathing was still steady. He ran one hand through his soggy hair in a nervous gesture.

He had been mad, but his anger had always been like a summer storm, all fury and raging force for a moment then gone without a trace. In spite of his reputation, he was not one to worry or fret. He was basically happy and usually in a good mood. He did pick on people, but only those he liked. 

He did like Squall, but he could not seem to get through to him. Every time he tried to be friendly, the guy went to ice. He did not normally waste a lot of time trying to figure out emotions, but this time he was confused and still a little angry. He was not sure why and that made him restless. Rather than think on the situation any longer, he stripped off his wet shirt and took out his feelings and confusion the best way he knew how, by slipping into the training room alone.

He ignored the warning over the door and checked the hallway. The coast was clear. He checked that Ifrit was still there, resting in the back of his mind. It would be a very poor ending to his career if he died here inside the Garden with no hint of an enemy near him. He flexed his hands inside his gloves and entered.

Squall froze and listened for the noise that had awakened him. It came again, a muffled thump and a low curse. Moving silently, he opened the door a crack and peered out into the hallway. It was after midnight by his chronometer. As his eyes adjusted to the low lighting, he saw the source of the noise. Zell was leaning against his door trying to key the lock. He was a mess. His face was bloody, his pants shredded, and long gashes striped his back. 

"Been in the training room alone again?" 

Zell jumped and spun around to face him. "Shit, Squall, you trying to give me a heart attack." 

"Why not, it looks like you're trying to kill yourself anyway." 

"Nah, I'm fine. I'll use one of those healing potions we picked up in Dollet and get some sleep. I'll be good as new." 

"Wait a minute and I'll give you a hand. You know you shouldn't take one of those by yourself. You could have a bad reaction. Then who would the monsters sharpen their claws on?" Zell grinned even though he was obviously hurting. 

Squall changed into his casual attire quickly and crept across the hallway. He hesitated before pushing the door open wondering why he wanted apologize so much and why he had said that about the healing potion. It was true enough that the things were sometimes impure and reactions had happened, but not often enough that any of them really worried about it. Shaking his head, he slipped inside his friend's room. 

Zell was leaning over his washbasin washing the blood from his face. His nose looked broken, and the gashes on his back went nearly to the bone. "You sure you don't want to go to the infirmary? This looks pretty bad." 

"Heck no! They'd mark me up for going into the training room alone." 

Squall sighed then changed the subject. "I'm sorry I made you mad earlier." 

"Yeah, me too. It was none of my business." 

"Anything that involves the team is your business as much as mine. I forget that sometimes, but you are very important to the team. 

Zell actually blushed and looked down at his swollen knuckles. "Thanks, Man." 

Squall cleared his throat and picked up the small glass vial Zell had set on the nightstand. The dark glass was smoky enough to conceal the thick, yellowish fluid within. Nothing could cover the smell or the taste. He grimaced in sympathy as he held the potion out to Zell. 

Zell choked the stuff down then sat heavily on the bed. The wounds began to heal almost immediately. The forced regeneration was hard on the body. In a few moments, his eyelids drooped. He shook his head fighting sleep and hissed at the pain in his nose. 

Squall pushed him down as gently as he could onto the bed and removed the remains of his pants and his tennis shoes before dimming the lamp beside the bed. He wet a cloth at the basin and gently wiped his teammate's face. The nose was healing rapidly. Zell sighed softly and gave in to the drug's effects. 

Squall sat on the edge of the bed. In sleep, Zell looked strangely vulnerable and very young. It was the first time he could remember seeing him be still for more than a moment. Before he realized what he intended, his hand was tracing the lines of the real tattoo. His mind drifted back to the escape from the desert prison. 

Zell had taken out at least a dozen guards on his own, but there were too many. Squall had felt the strangest, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had known that the proper thing to do was sacrifice Zell to save the others, but he could not. He had leapt into the fray. 

After the fight, Zell had been overcome with gratitude. He had fallen to his knees and hugged Squall, wrapping his powerful arms around his waist and babbling incoherently. Squall had found himself speechless for a moment. When Quistes asked if Zell meant that much to him. He had to choke back the 'yes' that had sprung to his lips. He had pushed Zell away then, embarrassed. 

He could still feel the heat where Zell had held him. 

He looked up from his reverie to see blue eyes watching him. He realized that his fingers were still caressing the markings on Zell's face and jerked his hand back. Before it had moved more than inch it was seized. It was easy to forget how fast Zell's hands were until he had you in an iron grip. He looked from the large hand encircling his wrist to those intense eyes, then looked away blushing. 

"Squall?"

Squall made himself look, not knowing what to expect. Zell's eyes were full of conflicting emotions, desire, loneliness, hope, fear, and other things Squall could not name. 

Zell held his breath as one of Squall's rare smiles spread across his face. He was paralyzed. So many thoughts and emotions were racing through his mind. He gave up trying to understand any of them.

"Idiot." 

Squall's whisper was half-mocking, half-wondering. Zell was not sure which of them he was addressing. He was not sure of anything except that this was a chance, a perfect moment in time. Keeping his hand steady with sheer will-power, he released his hold on Squall's wrist and tangled his fingers in his silky, dark hair. Never breaking eye contact, he pulled himself up into a sitting position and brushed his lips against Squall's. 

Squall did not resist. He was close enough to feel Zell's warm breath against his face. "Zell." He was suddenly terrified , he wanted to jump up and run as fast as he could. 

Zell sensed his fear and pulled him into a gentle embrace. He whispered softly against his ear. "It's alright Squall, I won't hurt you. I promise."

Squall buried his face against Zell's neck breathing deeply letting the other man's scent surround him . He smelled of soap and sweat, and very faintly of blood. His mind was screaming at him, warning him not to get too close, not to care.

With what had to be the greatest effort of his life, he pulled himself away and rose to his feet. Without looking up he muttered that he had to go and turned to leave.

Zell's voice froze him in place for a moment. "Come back when you're ready Squall."

There were volumes of unspoken meaning in the sentence. Squall fled the room before panic or any other emotion could take hold of him. 

 

Once back in the safety of his own room, Squall began restlessly pacing the floor. He was losing his mind. He could smell Zell on him, taste his gentle kiss. No girl had ever made his heart race like this. Zell was a great fighter and one of the few truly good people Squall had evr met, but his constant motion was so irritating. It seemed he was always talking, always smiling, and looking at him with trust and respect shining in those incredible eyes.

He cursed aloud and headed for the shower. Some cold water would cool him off.

He spent the rest of the week avoiding Zell, but out of sight was not out of mind. His dreams were haunted by the memory of the kiss, the gentle offer that had been their parting, the feeling of silky skin under his fingers. It did help a little that everyone was avoiding him. He could not seem to help taking out his aggression on everyone around him.. He could not eat or sleep. Something would have to be done soon, before they were given another assignment. 

Zell sighed and picked at his food. He did not seem to have much appetite lately. He wanted to talk to Squall, but he was leaving long before sunrise each morning and coming in late every night. Zell wanted to do something to make it better, but he had no idea what would work. 

"Damned if I tell him I'm sorry, 'cause I'm not!"

"Sorry about what?" Irvine was looking at him curiously from under his cowboy hat. 

"I didn't mean to say anything out loud, must be losing my mind."

Irvine stared at him for a long moment before speaking. "Did you an' Squall get in a fight? Is that why you're mopin' around and he's acting like a royal bitch?" 

Zell frowned at the sharpshooter suspiciously, but his expression was one of genuine concern. "It wasn't exactly a fight." 

Irvine waited until he was sure no further information was forthcoming. "I don't know what y'all got all worked up about, but I know what I see. Zell, the walking stomach isn't eating. I bet you've lost a good 5 pounds in a week, and Squall the king of indifference is running around acting like a rabid Marlboro." 

"You're both big boys. You should try talkin' to each other. You'd be amazed how well it works. You'd better do something soon, or I sure as shootin' won't be going on any missions with you two. I like my life too well." 

Zell smiled ruefully then excused himself. The cowboy was right, but he also knew that Squall would come to him when he was ready to talk and not one moment before. It was three more endless days before he found Squall sitting in the hallway outside his door waiting. 

Squall looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps. It was Zell. He was in his SeeD uniform and looked good, better than good. Instead of his usual grin, he smiled hesitantly at his leader and unlocked the door, motioning Squall inside. 

There was an awkward silence as Zell perched on the edge of his desk and waited for Squall to break the silence. He was still as long as he could stand it then stood up abruptly opening his mouth to say something, anything to break the unbearable tension, but Squall silenced him with a raised palm. 

Squall moved with easy grace until he was standing directly in front of Zell, then he deliberately took another step bringing them chest to chest. Zell reached for taller man slowly, carefully, as if he might startle and run. Squall leaned into his touch and buried his face in the hollow of Zell's neck. 

Zell caught his breath at the touch. He could not believe that he was holding Squall this way. He had dreamed about it, wished it, but in the way one dreamed of the unattainable. Now the dream was truth, but nothing like he had imagined. Squall trembled in his arms, stiff and frightened, not knowing what it was he wanted or why. 

Zell knew that he could take advantage of the confusion and fear, but he wanted more than just that. He wanted his friend and a partner, an equal who wanted him in return. He ached to take the slender body that was pressed so tightly against him, but he knew he could not until the time was right.

He stroked his silky hair, not doing anything but holding him, listening to his breathing gradually even out and feeling him relax into the embrace. Without ending the gentle caresses, he questioned Squall. 

"Have you ever, umâ€¦gone with anyone, like on a regular basis?" 

"No, are you asking?"

"Maybe, are you saying yes?" 

"Maybe." 

"Have you ever done anything with a guy before?" 

"No."

"Girl?"

"Nothing more than playing around and a kiss or two, it never felt like I thought it should." 

"No earthquakes and lightning?" 

"Not hardly!" Squall laughed, not his usual bitter, mocking laugh, but one of genuine amusement. He looked up at Zell shyly. "Maybe we could try." 

Zell did not need an engraved invitation. He kissed Squall, slowly at first then with increasing ardor as he felt him respond. His mouth was hot and sweet and tasted faintly of coffee. Dimly, he was aware that the room was shaking a little and crackles of electricity were racing along the metal joists of the walls. Shivers of gold and red danced briefly near the window then faded away. He would have smiled in gratitude, but just then, Squall's lips found the sensitve place under his jaw and everything else faded from his awareness. 

From his own plane, Quetzecoatl watched the two boys. First love was such a precious thing. The liquid metal that surrounded him flowed back revealing his human form, a willowy young man with shifting, silver eyes and golden hair that cascaded in a wild mane to his hips. A smile softened his angelic features. 

He folded his golden wings behind him and looked at his companion. Diabalos was his polar opposite, even without his insectoid mask. Crimson and ebony with bat-like wings and razor sharp claws, he was the epitome of evil. He was tall and heavily muscled. The pale, handsome face was composed of sharp angles and prominent lines. His long black hair hung in a single thick braid down his back. 

The scarlet eyes glowed with quiet amusement. "Earthquakes are not my forte, but that one was not bad, eh?" His voice was deep, smooth, and dark, the water beneath a frozen pond in the dead of winter. It sent shivers over his companion. 

"Beautifully done, old friend. I owe you one."

Diabolos studied him intently for a moment, the tip of his pointed tail twitched thoughtfully. "You like that boy a lot, yes?" 

"Yes, " Quetzecoatl's voice was sweet, honey smooth, but no less dangerous than his companion. "He touches something in me. I wish to see him happy." 

Quetzecoatl watched the other Guardian Force carefully. Diabalos was an ancient demon and unpredictable. No one knew what he was truly capable of. He did not seem to be bound by the same rules as they were. Quetzecoatl had asked for his help instead of one of the twins just because no one else had ever asked him for anything. He had been surprised and grateful when he accepted. He had not discussed conditions or prices. 

As if he had read his mind, Diabalos smiled. It was an unexpectedly compelling expression that reached and warmed the glowing, red eyes. He moved deliberately, swiftly, with all the grace of the ancient predator that he was. In a heartbeat, they were standing face to face, the taller Diabalos looming over his golden companion. Quetzecoatl looked up into the burning eyes. Powerful hands encircled his waist pulling him against the hard body. 

"We could make some lightning of our own." 

Grinning, Quetzecoatl offered his mouth and all that went with it to Diabalos. His soft feathered wings curved around and up cupping them both in a safe, warm cocoon. 

Zell drew back from the fierce kiss as the night outside exploded with thunder and lightning. Panting, Squall fought to regain his composure. His shirt and jacket were gone, flung somewhere in the floor and his pants were uncomfortably tight. Zell stared at the raging weather outside.

"What the Hell was that?" 

"The storm? The kiss?" 

Zell grinned. "The storm, silly, I know a kiss when I feel one. And that was a damn fine kiss."

Squall smiled and looked away at the raging elements outside the window. "Looks like a real one. I wonder why weather control didn't see it coming." Growing abruptly serious, Squall caught Zell's eyes. "So what does this mean to us, where do we go from here?" 

Zell sat on the bed, crossing his legs to hide the conspicuous bulge beneath his jeans. "I want to see you," he trailed off embarrassed. 

"You don't have an option there." Squall was amazed at the steady conviction in his own voice. 

Zell looked up with a shy grin. "Good." 

"I'm not saying that I want to get married or anything. I do know that no kiss ever felt like that before. The GF's seem to approve, anyway." 

Zell chuckled, he should have known Squall would see the spirits. He never missed much. "They've never done anything like that before, for me anyway." 

"Me either." 

Squall looked down at his folded hands. He seemed about to speak but swallowed instead. Zell bent down and looked up under his long bangs smiling crookedly. "Whatcha thinking?"

Squall blushed again. "A lot of things." He walked to the window. Chaos reined on the other side of the glass pane. He hugged himself, shivering a little in an errant draft. 

Zell caught his breath. Squall was gorgeous. He stood there , tall and slim, and outlined against the storm. His pale skin contrasted sharply with his black pants and the night beyond. The lightning picked out golden highlights in his dark hair. 

Moving silently, Zell went to him and wrapped his arms around his waist. Squall let his head fall back against his shoulder pressing into the warmth of his body. 

"You've done this before?" 

Zell answered honestly, "I've been with guys before, if that's what you're asking, girls too. I've never been in loveâ€¦" He had almost added 'before' to the statement. Instinctively, he knew that would have been disastrous. "I've never wanted any of them as much as you. I never really cared about them." He left it at that; he would let Squall detect the unspoken in that statement. 

"Zell."

"Yeah?" 

"Teach me how."

Zell drew a shaky breath, it was several heartbeats before he could answer, and when he did, it was a bare whisper. " Yes, oh God, yes." 

Squall turned lithely in his arms and pressed a kiss hard against his mouth. By the time they reached the bed , both were somehow undressed. Zell threw himself down on the rumpled covers and pulled Squall down beside him. 

Zell pulled back from the searching lips of his lover and trailed hot kisses down his chin and neck. Squall's fingers dug into his shoulders as he moved across the muscular chest and down to the flat stomach. His tongue flicked into the shallow navel and Squall gasped. 

The gasp became a strangled cry as Zell's roving mouth slipped farther down. Squall buried his hands in thick, blond hair and arched his back, thrusting up into the fiery wetness that had become the center of his being. He screamed, as the pleasure took him.

Zell heard Squall cry out his name as he came. Squall pulled him up and kissed him hard never losing his death grip on Zell's hair. His tongue snaked into Squall's mouth exploring, acknowledging his own taste in his lover's mouth. He disengaged one hand and let it drift down to where he could feel Zell's hardness pressing against his thigh. 

"I want.." Squall trailed off. He did not really know what he wanted, to feel that hardness thrusting inside his body, to bury himself in Zell's body, to cry in his new found lover's arms. Zell drew back and gathered Squall into his arms. "It's alright. We won't do anything you're not ready for, okay? I don't want to screw this one up, Squall. Iâ€¦you deserve better than that and we'll go as slow as you want to, I promise."

Squall smiled up into the beautiful eyes of his lover before letting his finger drift along his tattoo to the generous mouth. Zell captured the errant finger with his mouth, sucking gently. Squall caught his breath and made up his mind. "I want you, Zell Dincht, all of you. Take me.."

Zell looked at him for a long time before he stretched across the bed and switched off the lamp. The room was left in shadows broken only by the intermittent flashes of lightning outside. The crashing thunder echoed their pounding hearts as Zell explored Squall's body with hands, lips, and teeth. Squall touched in return, hesitantly at first, then with growing confidence. Zell's body was compact and powerful. His skin was warm silk over hard muscle. His chest, arms, and thighs were as defined as a weightlifter's. He bit gently at Zell's neck delighting in his low groan of pleasure. With something close to reverence, he allowed his hands to slip around the hips and cup the generous curves of his butt. He realized that he had wanted to do just that so many times as he stood behind his friend in battles or watched him exercise in the gym. 

Zell rolled over pinning Squall beneath him. "Are you sure?" 

Squall shivered at the intimate voice so close to his ear. He was not really sure, but his voice was firm as he replied. "Yes." 

Zell fumbled at the shelf above the bed for a moment. He settled himself between Squall's legs, spreading them with his own. Beneath him, Squall was breathless, sweating. His hair was tousled prettily. His eyes glowed in the darkness. He was beautiful. It took all of Zell's control not to tell him how he felt at that moment. Instead, Zell kissed him gently, slowly. 

Squall leaned up into the kiss letting it wipe every other thought from his mind. He had never felt so alive; every nerve seemed edged in lightning. He nearly yelped as Zell's finger, slick with gel slid into him. He forced himself to relax as much as possible. The finger moved in a slow careful rocking that began to feel surprisingly good. He moaned into the mouth above him and arched his back as a second finger joined the first. 

Squall was about to lose it again when the fingers withdrew to be replaced by something much larger. He bit Zell's shoulder deep enough to draw blood as pain surged through him. Just when he thought he could not bear it, Zell was in him and the pain was fading replaced by a sensation of fullness and pressure that was not entirely unpleasant. 

"You are so beautiful, so hot." Zell's voice was a breathy caress that sent chills across his sweaty flesh. 

Zell moved in slow careful strokes trembling with the effort of being gentle. His own first time had been awkward and unfulfilling. He would make it special for Squall or die trying. He whispered soft encouragements to his lover. 

He found Squall's sex between their bodies and gripped it gently, stroking upward with each thrust. He could feel Squall moving under him, rising to meet each new thrust, pressing himself upward into the pleasuring hand. Squall's breathing became as ragged as his own and his cries lost their pained edge and became moans of pleasure. 

Squall wound his arms around Zell's shoulders and pushed against him. Any memory of pain was forgotten as new, wonderful feeling swept through him spreading from his groin and the center of his body. Everywhere that Zell touched, he left trails of fire that burned deep into the parts of Squall he had believed to be frozen away forever. His carefully constructed walls were crumbling fast and he had no desire to rebuild them.

He whispered Zell's name like a prayer as he was swept away in the inferno. He could not tell if the voice that cried out over the thunder's roar was his own or his lover's. He knew nothing at all for some time. 

His senses returned slowly. He became aware that he lying in a sweaty heap, his own limbs were tangled with Zell's and the covers were only partially on the bed. Everything was clouded by a sweet haze, though. He allowed sleep to retake him. He stirred only once when the night grew colder and Zell roused himself enough to cover them both with the twisted bedding. He snuggled closely against his lover's chilled body and was held tightly in return. 

The storm died with the approaching dawn. Sunlight slanting across the bed awakened Zell. He would have turned over and gone back to sleep, except that someone was touching him. Someone was caressing his cheek. He caught his breath as he recalled who it was lying beside him. He opened his eyes, half-afraid that he had dreamed it all. 

Squall was propped up on one elbow watching him with obvious amusement. 'Are you going to sleep all day?" 

"It's Saturday and the cafeteria is serving meatloaf. I usually sleep until one." 

"You won't today." 

"Oh no? Why not." 

"Because you're going to teach me how to do to you, everything you did to me last night." 

Zell grinned. "Oh, am I?" 

"Yes, and we start now." Squall kissed him firmly. 

Zell pulled him into a bear hug. His mind screamed all the things he wanted to say and his heart felt like it might explode. "Squall, I..." He could not continue. 

"What is it Zell? Is something wrong?"

"No," his voice was a strained whisper, "I just..."

"Tell me Zell. It's okay. I won't hurt you." 

Hearing his own words in his lover's voice destroyed his resolve to wait until the time was right. "I love you Squall." He waited, tenseley, for Squall's reaction.

Squall looked at him for so long, with such intensity that Zell knew he had screwed up. He started to say something, to try and take it back but Squall captured his face and forced him to meet his eyes. 

"I've never trusted anyone before, or let myself love anything. You will have to teach me how. I do love you Zell, as much as I know how to love." 

Zell pulled him into the crushing hug again. He had to blink back tears of relief. He wanted to say something profound, profess his love; but Squall squirmed out of his grasp and began stroking his chest. 

Zell closed his eyes stretching like a cat under the caresses. He allowed himself to think of the future for the first time in a long time. He knew that he would have to tell his mom that he had found someone, she would be happy for him. She liked Squall, enough to let him win at cards anyway, and that was saying something. The others would figure it out sooner or later, it would be better to take the offensive. 

It would all wait though, he had no intention of allowing either of them to go any further than his shower today. He had 'Mike's Cheese Coneys to Go' on speed dial and a lot of energy to burn off. He grinned when Squall raised his head to stare at his lover with blazing eyes. The future suddenly looked a heck of a lot brighter.


End file.
